Cactuar Joe

THWAP! #Monsterdon

"No matter how clever, you can't hide murder." Yeah, it's a lot easier to get into a position of power and then just straight up murder people and dare people to stop you. #Monsterdon

"Give her to me"? CHRIST she's gay, wow #Monsterdon

Oh my gracious! #Monsterdon

HELL YEAH FUCK THE PIGS FUCK THE PIGS #Monsterdon

"I don't want her to think we're a couple of hysterical women!" She might be into that kinda thing. #Monsterdon

Very good, sir. #Monsterdon

"Judy" Yeah that's her name, don't wear it out. #Monsterdon

I appreciate the Bat's Gonna Getcha pose, tho. 🖐️ 😠 🤚 #Monsterdon

I wonder what the bat's doing right now. The one in the bag, I mean. #Monsterdon

So $1m in 1959 would be $11.5m now. I might shoot a short bald guy for that. #Monsterdon

Whoops, found the soundtrack again. #Monsterdon

Haaarible #Monsterdon

"There's a million dollars at large!" Well, it was the late 1950s, these days a million is at medium at best. #Monsterdon

Honestly the funniest thing about the Bat is that he wears a suit and a fedora. Like, not even the Psycho Thrill Killer is exempt from the dress code of the 1950s. #Monsterdon

BAT-CHOP! #Monsterdon

"There's something queer about the killing of that guy!" I'VE BEEN SAYING THAT THE WHOLE MOVIE #Monsterdon

♫ But the Bat came back the very next day~ ♪ #Monsterdon

Yeah yeah behind the grandfather clock, Final Fantasy 6 did it better. #Monsterdon

"If Ian were alive today" IF I HADN'T SHOT HIM, I MEAN #Monsterdon

...Vince, he's a cop not a postman. #Monsterdon

"Don't think about it." You're killing the mood, sleepover parties are SUPPOSED to be FUN :( #Monsterdon

THE BUTLER DIDN'T DO IT Thank god, that would've been so cliche. #Monsterdon

"That's a smart girl." If you keep your trap shut I won't have to kill you <3 #Monsterdon

She's Laying On Hands the house. Gonna heal it 1d4 HP per round. #Monsterdon

BECAUSE YOU SEE I AM THE BAT #Monsterdon

"We've gotta be as clever as he is!" Okay, I'll get a hammer and start concussing people. You start the lobotomies. #Monsterdon

I would appreciate it if the cop did it. If the butler did it I'm gonna womp womp like you wouldn't believe. #Monsterdon

"I pursued a secret investigation of my own..." Called, "How low can a neckline be before the 1950s censors start yowling?". #Monsterdon

I know I trust a fiancee who sidles into his future wife's house like he's robbing a bank. #Monsterdon

THERE WAS A okay fine #Monsterdon

No no, sorry, didn't mean to scare you, just doin' chinups. #Monsterdon

"He's come back." Better leave a guard, officer, this lesbian polycule is growing fast. #Monsterdon

"It's a pity. So young." So full of blood. #Monsterdon

Vince, y'gotta get some subtlety man #Monsterdon

Well, Vince is dead. My interest in this film just went way down. #Monsterdon

Della Street, Muppet Babies edition. #Monsterdon

VINCE STOP TALKING AND SHOO- oops, see, what'd I tell you? #Monsterdon

BATBAG #Monsterdon

♫ Car 54 wheeeere aaaaare yooooou ♪ #Monsterdon

...Don't ALL bats have two legs? #Monsterdon

Nice shooting, Eagle Eye. #Monsterdon

"Somethin's wrong!" My Aging Lesbian Sense is tingling! #Monsterdon

WOW she's gay like wow ma'am i was joking before #Monsterdon

Lotta very similar-looking white guys in hats in this film. #Monsterdon

Good thing Lizzie's got directional gaydar. #Monsterdon

And as the Bat bleeds gently in the distance, we say adios and turn once more to the inevitable poll. Was THE BAT (1959) the WORST #Monsterdon movie of the year?

I won't take the rap! The Batrap! Not with BOTH HANDS on the Batrap! #Monsterdon

Oh, the bat's a firebug. #Monsterdon

Batburglars aren't as silent as catburglars. #Monsterdon